


Aienkien, Heda

by orphan_account



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Cyberpunk, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-05-28 16:32:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6336295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aienkien -- a noun, a japanese unstranslatable idiom, defined as an expression used to describe an uncanny relationship, a couple who met by a quirk of fate, deeply bonded in their unusual attraction and course of destiny.</p><p>It is also my way of saying "____ you, J. R.".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sehnsucht, the unknown nostalgia

**Author's Note:**

> TEASER — Sehnsucht, the unknown nostalgia
> 
> A German unstranslatable noun, sehnsucht is defined as a deep emotional state of nostalgia and unfinished feelings. It is the inadequate longing of yearning for life's unfulfilled wishes, which you can't define.
> 
> _____________________________
> 
> If you like it, if you see something you like, if you see something you do not like, meh, maybe comment and link it wherever you want?  
> Or you can go to my Tumblr and ask me anything you would like? http://lethodusk.tumblr.com/

_Lexa._

 

_LEXA._

 

_LEXA!_

 

A drop of sweat runs through her frown, slipping over the surface of her nose bridge, and falling from the tip. Her arms are flexed, and the palms touch the mat's warm surface. Lexa lets her body fall slowly to the ground.

She doesn't recall when her mind began to fly astray. It was another day before work, another day before giving a conferece to the students of the biology and medicine faculty of the college. There was always a rush felt at the beginning of the day, with the knowledge that about 600 future scientists and doctors would listen to her, without muttering a word. Sharing insight with other people had always been a quirk of her, a pleasure that could not make disappear.

However, she was not someone who got distracted easily. Maybe she didn't feel well (she had completed the workout without problems), maybe she was nervous (she had given other conferences as this one with success), but an uneasy shiver toured her spine.

The mat had plenty of sweat, as much as a fifty minute workout could induce. The shower felt as humdrum as always, but Lexa could not stop feeling like there was something she was forgetting. There had to be a reason to be so distracted. Maybe she had nightmares that she did not remember.

The shower along with the chill out music felt more than great. Lexa did her hair (bit of a messy one, actually), and dressed with a white tank top, a formal grey suit shirt, and navy pants with a notch, navy jacket.

She didn't know what kind of students would attend her conference. That did not meant she wasn't going to take this as what it was. To make others learn. To guide others.

To be the boss.

Her job. What she was born for.

 

**Days before**

 

The mother enjoys the strawberry and chocolate ice cream with the little girl, who grabs a chunk of it and puts it on the mother's nose tip, licking it afterwards. The mother laughs, and both of them bite the ice cream, brain freezing. More laughs come after.

Clarke loves to draw these situations. She is careful, she tries to cover the fact that basically, she is stalking them. For art. After ending that TV show (with nothing more to offer), she had decided to focus more on her actual work, and the gesture and life drawing had to be improved after two weeks with her hand injured.

The drawing is great, nobody would deny that. The shadows in the little one's face, and the light and happiness that was reflected in those lines were obvious. Still, she was no more than a stranger to them. Even more so, Clarke thought when she heard the mother talking. The blonde one knew languages weren't her strong suit, but the mother's words could not be from this world. But there they were, the girl and the mother, enjoying their lives.

Clarke felt uncomfortable for eavesdropping, but at the same time it was.. warm.

"Heda!", said the little girl, whilst laughing, enjoying the last bites of the ice cream.

That word resonated in Clarke's mind. She did not know what it meant, but she couldn't look away from the child. She realized she hadn't breathed in awhile. Clarke stopped looking at them, and tried to fucs on the drawing. But her hands were cold, and sweating at the same time. Her breathing rate was faster, and now her fingers did not stop from moving. Her pencil fell, although she was quick to catch it. The lines from the drawing were blurry now.

 

Actually, everything was pretty blurry.

She took her notebook, the pencils and started walking, passing next to the mother, who glanced at her as strangers do. Because strangers care about other strangers.

That is how we find each other.


	2. Diaphanous, the ethereal luminosity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TEASER — Sehnsucht, the unknown nostalgia
> 
> Diaphanous is defined as delicately hazy. It is an ethereal object, which possesses a sheer and transparent luminosity. It is flimsy, silky and nebulous, but above all beautiful due to its metaphysical quality.
> 
> _____________________________
> 
> If you like it, if you see something you like, if you see a typo, if you think something should be better, maybe comment? :)  
> Or you can go to my Tumblr and ask me anything you would like: http://lethodusk.tumblr.com/

Lexa starts up the engine. The black Aston Martin DB11 roars low, as the garage door opens. It has a bold exterior, and its interior shows a craftsmanship unusual for a simple car. A black styling, chosen by Lexa herself, most of the car's information displayed on a screen, which could also play music, or work as GPS.

“Good morning, Alexandra Woods.”, a female synthetic voice appears. It is the car’s virtual intelligence. It didn't reach an artificial intelligence level, but it managed the information and bookmarked Lexa's favourite places, besides being the first soothing voice she heard.

“Day, Cassan. Direct me to Polis University, Conference Center, thank you.” Replied Lexa as she left her bag on the right seat. She only brought her phone, a tablet and certain prototypes to show to the students. She didn't need anything else.

“How has been your awake time, Alexandra?” Cassan asks. There is a weird enquiry tone in her voice, as if she could feel that Lexa was tense, gripping the steering wheel too firmly.

“Great. Better than ever. I.. feel nervous about this conference.”, Lexa answered with a touch of insecurity. She wipes her forehead, checks the rear-view mirror: eyeliner, green eyes, tan skin, full lips. She is always prepared. She thinks so.

“It is your first appearance since the data stealing from Woods Biomedical.” Cassan’s words, although true, sting and cut Lexa like a knift. “Start up the front and rear wheels. Thank you.” The young woman replies, containing herself.

The vehicle begins to move, and Lexa accelerates, turning right as the garage closes. She hasn’t forgotten the weird sensation earlier. She doesn’t get distracted so simply most of the time. And no one besides herself uses that name.. Lexa. It had been.. years. She doesn’t even remember who used it.

She does not remember who used it.

 

\- Other place -

“So, are you coming or not?! It’s almost time!” Octavia shouts. “It’s not so easy to do a bun, okay?! I’m going, ugh!” Clarke replies, in the same volume. It’s not like they would arrive in time to the conference, anymore. They were already dressed, but Clarke does not like to have her hair badly done. That could take up for her maybe.. forty-five minutes. It was something normal, usual. Everyone does it.

Octavia steps in the room, with their bags in her hands, looking at Clarke, serious. “Clarke, we are going late already, Raven is going to be there, and you’ve been already touching yourself for forty minutes!”.  
Clarke drops her jaw, incredulously, “I am doing my hair, Octavia. It’s not like I am having sex with myself.” After that day at the park, her desire to get out to the street was pretty much zero. She was having an anxious sensation, although there was nothing wrong with her today. But Octavia had been busy with college, and she wanted to have a good time with her.

Their friendship had been a long, bumpy road. They meet in a party, when Clarke arrived to the little town of Arcadia. Clarke's parents felt her sadness, deciding to throw a surprise party to meet the two brothers: Bellamy and Octavia Blake, who would become her best friends. Octavia and Clarke ended up knowing each other’s secrets, as Bellamy went his way.

O, as Clarke loved to call her, was Clarke’s first crush, when she discovered she didn't like guys. And O was the first to know, and the one to ensure Clarke that it was normal to be attracted to both girls and boys. Both brothers were there the time Clarke felt it was right to tell her mother about it. Both brothers were also on her father’s funeral, after passing away in a car accident.  
Sadly, growing up pulls you apart from your dearest, and Clarke had to move to the city of Polis at the age of 15. She met new people, but longed for the brothers presence. After a year her wish came true, as them took the same step Clarke did in the past, moving to the big city.

Clarke didn’t have a crush on her anymore, although if it had been for Clarke, she wouldn’t have said no to Octavia. Because Clarke could have nice eyes and be blonde, but Octavia was the kind of fighter you like in bed. She had her motorcycle, loved leather and black, long hair, greek features and a lovely voice, besides being an smartass. On the other side Bellamy had closed a bit after some rough years in the city, but he aswell studying in college.

After a while trying to do an actual cool hairstyle, Clarke surrendered, and made a messy bun, leaving some fringe on her sides. She wore a dark blue cardigan and white, ripped jeans, along with some black heels taken from Octavia. It was a conference, after all. She couldn’t go in her pyjamas, as much as she’d have loved.

“Look, Clarke, you are hot, but this is it.” Said Octavia as she grabbed Clarke’s wrist, pulling her from the room towards the exit door. “Ok, ok!”, Clarke freed herself, and grabbed her bag. With so many people attending she wouldn’t pass up the chance to draw them, besides, she had no idea what the conference was about, anyways.

“We going with your bike, right O?” Clarke asked as she closed the door.

“Yes, obviously, that is why I am in haste. Not like my black panther is being fixed!”, answered Octavia, many floors under. Her voice echoed, and it stang some guilt into Clarke.

\- Aston Martin DB11 -

Lexa breathed deeply. Again. Her fingers were tingling, not feeling her own touch. A little trembling sensation in her hands and her jaw. It was hard for her to concentrate, but she had been through many anxiety and panic attacks in the last years, this wouldn’t be any different. What worried her is the dizziness, as if she were in another place and her other clone would take her energy. The day had just begun and she was already tired.  
She heard a knock on the car’s window. Glancing, Lexa recognized who it was: Indra. With a folder, a tablet and dressed even more elegant than Lexa herself, wearing a dark red sweater and a black dress. Lexa lowered the window, blinded first by the sun, and nodded at Indra.

“Do you always try to beat me at everything?” Lexa asked, trying to get louder than the passing cars on the road.

“I do, Alexandra. Now please, get out of the car, the conference is beginning in-“, Indra checks her tablet, “twelve minutes.” Lexa buried out her eyes on the traveling cars, and Indra touched her shoulder. “I know it is hard to talk to so many people. It is hard for you. But let us try it. I am at your side, after all”, assured the oldest, with a glint of a smile in her.

Lexa breathed again, and after some seconds to relax, opened the door of her car. “You are really inquisitive in putting yourself against me, I.”, cheered the brunette. Both hugged; they could see each other almost everyday of the week, but Indra had been a mix of mom and a bussiness partner. And it meant the world to her.

Lexa closed her car door, securing it, and both women began to walk towards the theatre, where the conferences were going to be held. Lots of young people were entering, mostly freshmen. Between the crowd, Lexa recognized a dark skinned young woman on the other side of the street, with a tablet, like that one of Indra’s.

“You see, I am not the only one who’s better than you at being a punctual person.”, whispered Indra, as she greeted from a far to said woman. “Being beaten by an assistant..”, exasperated Lexa, smiling openly for the first time in the morning.  
The three finally meet at the other side of the street, in front of the main door of the theatre. “Hello, Raven”, said Lexa, smirking. Raven was.. tightly dressed. A black leather jacket that smoothly finished in her wrists, tight tank top, her torso covered by a long necklace. Her leg muscles stood out thanks to close-fitting jeans, every clothing highlighting her features.

“Good morning, chief,” greeted Raven cheerfully to Lexa. Their conversations always had some kind of flirtation element, although nothing happened for now. “And good morning, boss”, Raven said more seriously to Indra, who smiled at her.

“Everything is prepared, so we can go inside now, have your five minutes, give your conference, everything going fly, and then.. home”, Raven daydreamed. They began walking to the theatre, built with a semi-circular form, covered in old grey pottery. Surrounded by small shops, clothing stores and apartments, it was at the core of the city.

The three women had entered into the building, and at the second Lexa’s feet were inside it, the press lunged against her. “Is it true that Woods Biomedical is closing a deal with Volkswagen?”, a young asian man inquired, as more press followed her. “What about the last rumours about your health?”, another woman pushes her microphone to Lexa, who keeps walking. “Please, it’s almost time for miss Woods conference.” Indra intervened, as she always did when the uncomfortable questions arised.

The press stepped aside, understanding that they would not get any answers. Lexa breathed, relieved. She was worried about the rumours about her health. Because they were true. She had been fainting often the last weeks. At least, she had treated them as fainting. The weird side of it is that she dreamed everytime it happened, as if was sleeping in her bed. The doctor, judging it was happening thanks to a “busy schedule and loss of sleep” had prescribed her some vitamins.  
It isn’t like Lexa didn’t trust her doctor. But she was certain there was something more. Yet, it was no moment to panick. Her conference was about to begin.

\- House seats, Theatre -

The pencil leaving its graphite on the page. Lines, a perspective from a high-point looking at the empty, illuminated stage. The seats being filled, faces without details on the page. Another blank page. The person at your right. Octavia. She is looking towards the stage, talking cheerfully to someone who is unfamiliar to you, with her face towards them. You draw her lengthy hair touching the shoulder, the right texture of silky skin, reflecting the warmness.  
Then, shadowing her top, her cleavage, her hands together, fingers touching each other, soft. Octavia looked at Clarke.

“Clarke. It’s about to begin, stop drawing, come on, if Raven sees you..”, Octavia didn't finish. The seat at your left is empty, as you are waiting for Raven. She is the assistant at Woods Biomedical, the company doing this conference, about art mixed with real biology. It’s been about a week since you’ve not had a drink together, and as excited as you are to see her, you are even more frightened that she doesn’t appear.

“Excited?”, Clarke buffs. Octavia stares at her, enlarging her eyes and clenching her jaw, and then exhaling, letting a pause come between them. “I am, ok? I am.. I have missed her,” answers, without the bravery to look at Clarke in the eyes, searching for nothing in her bag. “She knows absolutely nothing, and if I had to choose I would come to conferences with her everyday..” continues Octavia, leaving her bag and traying to feel her seat’s space, gripping its arms.

“Besides, I’m tired of having to hang with your face.” Clarke glances at her surprised, until she feels a breath on her neck. “Hey girls!”, Raven lows her body and hugs Clarke, “hello blonde and..” she walks to Octavia and hugs her, but slowly, as if she hadn’t seen her in a thousand lifes, “.. hello Octavia.” There is a comfortable silence between the three, until another woman appears on Clarke’s eye corner.

“Hello, Raven friends. I am Indra, her boss.” the oldest of them states, smirking at the fear on Clarke and Octavia’s faces. “I think you already know me, but sadly that does not reciprocate.” Says, extending her hand towards Clarke, who stood up. “Nice to meet you, Indra. Glad to be at one of your speeches.”

“Actually,” Indra stopped her, stretching her hand to Octavia, who shyly smiled at her and bowed her head. “This is not exactly my conference,” she said, trying to talk louder as the audience finally took their places. Indra left her bag at the ground, and seated at Clarke’s left, with Raven between the blonde and Octavia.

“It’s hers.”, she stated, pointing at the stage, as the lights softened down and Lexa entered on stage, with a thunderous applause.


End file.
